Getting in Touch with Your Feelings
"On days that I felt real good about myself, I was not nearly as critical of my children as I was on days that I was not feeling good about myself.."
We all experience some good days and some, well...not so good days. On the good days there is joy in parenting, and it seems easy to be patient, offering encouragement and praise to our children. There are also days when we feel exasperated and overwhelmed, expecting too much of ourselves and our children. Often, the source of our stress and/or negative feelings lies outside the children (like overcommitted schedules, finances, household chores, everyday responsibilities and demands). This is not to say children and their "childish behavior" cannot produce a surprising surge of negative emotions. All children, at one time or another, can be messy, sassy, and irresponsible.
As parents, we need to be aware of our feelings and identify their source. There are ways to cope with parental stress and control our negative feelings. This will not, of course, take away your anger, frustrations, etc., nor should it. However, if you are in touch with these feelings, you can anticipate and control your "reaction." If your child's behavior triggered your negative feelings, try to focus on the behavior, not on the child. If the source is separate, make sure to share that with your child so they do not feel responsible and "own your problem."
